Clean Chit Funds (CCFs)

Lesson 1:

First you amass huge funds by whatever means, and then get as many people as possible to give you a clean chit each.  Now the fortune you have made becomes a Clean Chit Fund.

The rating given to such a fund is CCF followed by as many plus signs as the number of chits obtained. If there are no clean chits but only fingers pointed at it, the CCF rating is followed by as many minuses as the fingers.  If there are both, each plus cancels out one minus and vice versa.

If the CCF holder is from an illustrious family, the initial of family name may be prefixed to the CCF rating.

Lesson 2:

Sometimes smaller funds amassed in ways similar to those stated in lesson 1 can be termed CCF even if they are not able to procure clean chits.  The ceiling amount for such small CC fund is stated to be 71 crores by highly placed sources.  Other requirements for such funds to be classified as CCF include the head of such a fund being supported by a highly placed and respectable dignitary.

Lesson 3:

It can be shown as a corollary of the profound Zero Loss Theory that CCFs, by their very nature, carry very little risk and do not require skills for managing them that are too complex.  This has been exploited for the very laudable purpose of upskilling people in lowly professions.  Drivers, gardeners and orderlies now have an opportunity to acquire directorial skills in such Funds.

Lesson 4:.

Interestingly, both sources and uses of CCFs are, more often than not, the same, namely, natural resources.  But some CCFs do choose to deploy funds in accounts abroad with a view to diversification.  In this case the customercentricity displayed by a particular bank has been commented upon by none other than the highly credible head of a recently launched political party.  The bank is said to have gone out of its way in helping CCFs in opening and funding accounts abroad.  They have made doing so easier than opening a no-frill account in a Public Sector Bank for receiving cash transfers from the Government.  This has led to much customer delight.